How to Speak LOL

Posted on March 30th, 2009 by Carmelia

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The LOL or the LOLcat phenomenom is relatively recent, but in Internet time, it’s been around forever. LOL speak is an internet meme that typically involves cute kittens in funny pictures. Popularized by the I Can Haz Cheezburger website, LOL speak is used when it is implied the kitten is speaking or describing what a kitten is doing. Interested in learning how to speak or type LOL? Read on.

Oversimplify

To get down to the syntax of LOL speak, you have to cut down the phrase or sentence first. Don’t cut out too much that would make it incoherent, just enough to make your phrase recognizable by LOL speak nevertheless. Some key points:

Vowels. LOL speak isn’t too bothered by spelling, so dropping vowels or replacing them, is an accepted practice. For example, “good” becomes “gud”,”emptied” to “emptid”, “this” to “dis”.
Loose Phonetic Spelling. Another way to simplify words is to spell them the way they sound. For example, “backpack” can become “bakpak”, “invisible” to “invisibul”.
Textspeak. LOL speak also accepts texting lingo, such as turning “you” into “u” or “your” into “ur”. If it’s textspeak, you can use it in LOL speak.
Drop Articles. Articles are typically dropped, or used very sparingly in LOL speak. “The cat has escaped” will then become, “Kitteh has escaped”. “The dog has a concussion?” can become “Dog has concussion?”
Use Onomatopeias. LOL speak loves using onomatopeias. Instead of describing what a kitten is eating, simply say, “OM NOM NOM” which is universally recognized as the LOL speak for eating.
The Rule for I am or I. Drop “I” entirely and simply say, “Kitteh”. “I am” is also widely not used, and “am” replaced by “r” or “has”. For example: “I am kitten” becomes” I r kitteh”.

Replace Words

Certain LOL speak words have direct translations, although these translations are not fixed. The rule of thumb when replacing or misspelling words is to still make them recognizable if not in spelling, then in context. Some examples:

Cheeseburger = cheezburger
The = teh
Have = has
Was = wuz
Kitten = kitteh
Enough = enuf
Now = nao
Human = hoominz
Oh no! = Oh noes!
Food = foodz
Hey = hay or hai

It must be noted that LOL speak is very fond of using the letter U and the letter Z, so it might be a good idea to add them as often as possible.

Mix Up the Syntax

Generally speaking, LOL speak does not follow a specific syntax, just a curious mix of babytalk, textspeak and a deliberate mix-up of words. Practicing following the syntax of classic LOL speak, such as “I has a bukkit” or “I can has cheezburger?” is a good stepping ground to practice your LOL speak, and maybe even create your own LOLcat. Good luck!