How to Say No
Posted on May 14th, 2009 by Carmelia
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Sometimes, the hardest thing is to say no and refuse to bend to the will of other people. Saying yes all the time can be easier on the short run and a great way to avoid conflict, but it can be detrimental. Live a better life by saying one simple word, and meaning it. Just say no.
Why Being a Doormat Is a Bad Thing
While it might seem that saying “yes” to everything will make you look like a good guy in front of your peers, that’s not the only image you’re perpetuating. Yes, you’re also giving an impression that you are a doormat and a pushover, hence people can just do anything to you and trust that you won’t do anything about it.
Realizing that people are using you for their own selfish needs is really the first step. You’ve got to mean your “no”! You’ve got to feel it. You’ve got to be fed up, but use the energy in a positive way for yourself and other people.
Saying No
- While it may be your personal joy to be a multitasker and a person who can do anything, the truth is, one can only do so much. Weigh your priorities and responsibilities and be realistic at how much time and effort you can afford for other people.
- Listen very well and respectfully to the other person making the request. Don’t say anything until the full request has been spoken or given to you.
- After the request is made, just say “no”. Speak in a modulated voice loud enough for both persons to hear. Make sure your body language is confident also, and that the way you say is very firm. Try to keep your tone as neutral as possible.
- Do NOT feel obligated to explain. Simply give a nod and turn away.
- However, should the other party ask for an explanation, do not lie about what your reasons are. Do not give a specific answer, either. Simply say, “I’m sorry but I cannot fit your request with my current schedule.” Giving a more specific answer will just be giving the other person to wheedle his or her request in even further. Be firm when doing this step.
- If the person reacts violently or unpleasantly following your “no” simply remove yourself from the situation as quickly as you can. Get to a safe place and call help as soon as possible.
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