How to Get Over a Broken Heart

How do you mend a broken heart? A bad breakup can happen to anyone, and its effects can be devastating. You may be feeling utterly alone right now, but there are healthy ways for you to mend your broken heart. Here are some suggestions.

Don’t Rebound

Don’t hastily get into another relationship just to feel good about yourself. Don’t try to be friends with your ex, especially right after the breakup. Avoid having sex with your ex, definitely. Just look at this as an opportunity to have some quality “Me Time.”

Give Yourself Time

There’s an old meme that dictates that the time you have to get over a relationship is half the time span when the relationship lasted. This is not necessarily true. People’s feelings on breakup vary from person to person, and everyone has their own way of getting over a broken heart. Before you do anything to mend your broken heart, don’t be pressured by a schedule. Just do what feels right for you.

Let it Out

No one expects you to be fine and dandy right out of a breakup. The thing is, there are a myriad of ways you can let out your anger, frustration and sadness in a healthy way. Cry if you need to cry. Scream if you’re angry. Finish off a pint of ice cream. Sleep in all day. Watch TV all afternoon.

Just don’t do it all the time. It’s understandable that sometimes you just won’t be able to help yourself, but don’t do it all the time. Don’t let the negative emotions overwhelm you and rule over every waking hour. Don’t do anything that will hurt yourself, such as obsessing when he or she will call again, or drinking yourself silly.

Instead, breathe. Breathe in all the positive energy, and exhale all the negative. Give yourself time to mourn, but make sure you don’t dwell on it forever.

You can also express your feelings in other ways, such as writing or drawing. Burning them after can feel pretty good too.

Focus on Other Things

When you’re on your own, you realize how much time a relationships actually takes up. With all the extra time in your hands, expend your energies to doing something productive. Join a club, take up a hobby, volunteer, or hit the gym! All these activities help you expand your interests and will help you grow into a better person.

You can also take this as an opportunity to focus your energies on improving other aspects of your life, such as career, friendships and family.

You should also remember and focus that it’s not your fault the relationship ended. Not entirely your fault, anyway. Focus on the good things about you. Focus on being good to yourself.

Seek Closure

Seek closure from the relationship and from yourself. Learn from your mistakes, but remember the good times. Don’t resent anything or anyone that caused your relationship to deteriorate. Don’t obsess on what went wrong, and just learn from the experience.

There are different ways to seek closure. If significant amount of time has passed since you’ve broken up, you can try talking to your ex. If that’s not possible, you can do it on your own. You can talk to your friends and family who have known you when you were in that relationship. It needs a lot of quiet thinking and reconciliation between yourself and all your hurts.

Socialize

Go out and socialize as soon as you’re ready. You should also consider going out on dates several months after the breakup. This should widen your social circle, and who knows, find another love.

Get Help

If after several months and nothing is working, consider seeing a professional who can help you. There is no shame in this. You are just human.