How to Flirt
Posted on March 25th, 2009 by Carmelia
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You’re sitting at the bar with your friends, hoping to catch someone’s eye. When you do catch someone looking, suddenly you find yourself at an impassé: Now what? Learning how to flirt is more than just looking good. Here’s how.
Look Nice
For someone to flirt with you, that person must first be attracted enough with you to bother. You don’t have to look like Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt, but you must look presentable if you intend to get any flirting done. Take a bath, comb your hair, have your nails and toes manicured, clean your ears and brush your teeth. Sometimes, yellow teeth are all it takes to break the spell, so be hygienic.
Be Friendly
Once you’ve put yourself out there, you should follow through. Don’t restrict yourself to your group of friends or the people you know. Talk to people around you and enjoy making new acquaintances. This will make potential dates feel more encouraged to talk to you, since you seem pretty open to meeting new people.
Make sure that your body language is open and friendly as well. Don’t cross your arms, close in on yourself or have a perpetual frown on your face. Relax, have fun and most especially, smile.
Catch His or Her Eye
Try this trick on someone you catch looking at you: Look back at him or her with a small smile and hold your gaze for three seconds. After three seconds, lower your gaze to the floor for a split second, and then look back into his or her eyes again, this time with a deeply searching look.
Don’t stare at someone too long. It can look creepy. Instead try this technique repeatedly, and the person you’re interested in will hopefully make the first move.
Talk
Now that he or she finally went up to talk to you, what do you do? You talk right back. Small talk can be terrifying for some people, but you just have to remember that you are not defending your doctorate thesis here. You’re just talking. Introduce yourself, look for common ground, such as hobbies, pop culture, movies, music, the bar you’re sitting at, who he or she is with. Have fun. Listen closely to what he or she is saying, laugh at jokes (throw back your head to make it seem you really enjoyed it), if they are funny. Compliment only when you mean it.
To take the pressure off, just think of having a simple conversation, and not an exercise in flirtation. However, should the other party lose interest, politely excuse yourself and say, “It was nice meeting you.” That should make for a pretty graceful exit.
Things to Remember
Don’t force yourself into anything that you don’t want to do. Don’t feign interest, don’t put on airs and don’t put on a different personality. Remember, flirting is for fun, not serious business.
Be careful when going out in social places like bars. Have a friend with you at all times. Not all the guys you meet there are honorable guys, so girls have to look out for each other.
If you are uncomfortable with giving your number, exchange email addresses instead.
Don’t be desperate. Don’t fake anything, even laughing politely can be very transparent to other people. Remember, your self-worth isn’t based on who will or will not flirt back at you. Just enjoy your evening with the aim to meet new people.
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