How to Choose Your Bridesmaids
Posted on August 5th, 2009 by Elaine
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For every woman, getting married isn’t complete without her best girlfriends standing beside her. Bridesmaids are the women handpicked by the couple to stand beside them as witness to their special day. Every girls certainly wants to have bridesmaids, but the troubling part is just how and who to choose. Here’s a quick guide to help you.
Decide How Many You Need (And Can Afford)
They say the more, the merrier, but in this case, it isn’t very true. More bridesmaids means more women, deciding over what kind of dress and squabbling over the shower date. You don’t want that additional hassle. Keep it to a reasonable and humble amount. One suggestion is to have 1 bridesmaid for every 50 guests, but you don’t have to stick to this number.
The number also depends on your wedding itself. Imagine if your wedding was small, only to have a bridal party with 10 bridesmaids in line. It’ll look excessive. Also, remember that you’ll be spending for these ladies, too. While they can take care of their dresses, you’ll have to pay for the bouquets and the bridesmaid gifts.
Blood Over Water
Friends are important, but remember that family comes first. Always choose bridesmaids from the family, unless you’re a single child and there are no female relatives close enough to give the honor. Include your sister or closest cousin in the bridal party. Of course, you have to know where to draw the line. Don’t feel compelled to include all your female siblings and cousins, just those that you’re close to.
Know Your Bridesmaids’ Personalities
Be aware if there will be conflicts among your bridesmaids. For example, if a friend of yours and your cousin don’t get along, just choose one of them. Remember, these women will be together throughout the wedding preparations. Having a fight in your bridal party is the last thing you want.
You should also consider other conflicts concerning the bridesmaids. For example, you want a friend to be a bridesmaid, but she’s living abroad and can’t afford flying in for the preparations. Be understanding, and let her know that she can help with other wedding concerns.
Consider Your Partner’s Choice
The groom has his groomsmen, but this doesn’t mean he can’t have a say in your choices. If there’s a certain bridesmaid that he isn’t comfortable with (like a friend of yours who dumped him in college), do without that girl. Remember, it’s your fiance’s special day, too.
At the same time, don’t let your in-laws take control of your bridesmaid choices. If they insist that someone they want be made part of the bridal party, turn them down in a polite but firm way.
Don’t Let Tradition Stop You
Many would insist that you stick to traditional bridesmaid guidelines, but if you feel like bending the rules a bit, go ahead. Here are a few ideas how.
- A bridesmaid can be a man, too. A friend or brother who’s been close to you can be in the bridal party. He’s called a bridesman or an attendant.
- Have two (or more) maids of honor. There’s no rule saying there should be only one. Just make sure they don’t fight over the maid of honor duties, though.
- Ask a young girl to be a bridesmaid. If you love your 10 year old sister dearly, then include her in the bridal party.
- You don’t need even numbers or pairs in the bridal party. The law of symmetry doesn’t necessarily apply to weddings.
Finalize Before Sending The Invite
Some brides can contain themselves, and excitedly invite one friend after another to be a bridesmaid. In the end she realizes she’s got more than she can handle. It’s better to finalize the list before you start spreading the word. Of course, make sure you don’t take too long; your bridesmaids need time to prepare their dresses and clear their schedules, too.
A handful of dependable bridesmaids is important to complete a wedding. Just keep these tips in mind, and you’ll certainly have an affair to look forward to. If you find this article interesting, you’ll surely be interested in reading A look at the role of the bridesmaids.
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